We got our tree!

This is a Sponsored post written by me on behalf of Pier 1 Imports. All opinions are 100% mine.

We went to the tree farm down the road. We cut down a nice noble and boyfriend found out about the kind of work out you get when you carry a tree down a slippery, muddy hill. Then we hauled it home and decorated the tree. After opening up the decorations, it felt good to bring out the decorations I've had as a kid. I have had so many changes in my life this year. Monkey and I both have decoration from the year we were born on the tree. So I've had to ask boyfriend to ask around for one from the year he was born. I think we might should get some new decorations, ones that will be forever know  as going on our tree at our first Christmas together.

So stopped by Pier 1 web site. I thought these would be great especially for the kids and Monkey loves the polar express.

While I was on the site I shopped around. After throwing a very successful Thanksgiving and three year old birthday party in the last couple weeks, I am thankful to being spending Christmas at someone else's house. Although, I saw the cutest gingerbread spoon rest which would be great to use during my annual gingerbread house making party.

Also I went found out they are donating a $1.00 to Toys for Tots for all the new fans they get. They are also collecting toys at all of their locations. So while your getting some nice holiday gifts you can easily help those in need.

My Kids Won't Eat Anything !

Once upon a time I had an infant that slept 14 hours a day. So I had time to watch Oprah. This was during the Oprah loves Dr. Oz phase. He was talking about something in the brain that remembers flavors and recalls them causing cravings. In my head it works like this.

1. Your having a totally fun memorable day and you need a little bit of salt and you were at the fair and ended up with a super yummy thing of curly fries.

2. Whatever part of your body uses salt says "Hey, I need salt down here" to that thing in your brain.

3. The thing in your brain says "YOU NEED CURLY FRIES"

Really what you need is like a sprinkle of salt but the thing in your head doesn't really get portion control.

Okay so know you know what I think I know. I could have heard it wrong I am in no way a dietician but using that information helped me get my daughter to eat different foods. I wanted that thing in her brain to recognize and have good thoughts regarding all kinds of different healthy foods. So I started with something it already recognized, banana bread. Well, she already likes bananas but zucchini would be nice to see her eat, so I made  zucchini bread with just a little zucchini puree. Then I made it again with the typical shredded zucchini. Then I made it again with extra shredded zucchini. Then I made it again with chunks of zucchini. Then I served a piece of bread besides some grilled zucchini and she ate it, ALL.

I started doing this with all kinds of different foods. I used macaroni and cheese and added broccoli. I snuck carrots in cupcakes. Beans went into Quesadillas. Now 80% of the time we sit down to eat she just eats what is on her plate, if she is hungry. When we go to his parents house for dinner there is nothing special that needs to be made or brought. I'll let you know when I figure out how to say no to snacks before dinner.

'Tis the Season Not To Hate

I know your never suppose to hate anyone, ever. People who feel hate are awful and they have horrible lives and they are miserable people. Still, right now there is no other way for me to feel towards my daughters father. I hate him right now, and I think you'd agree it is for all the right reasons. Still, though your not suppose to hate.

This year was his year to take her for Thanksgiving, but having her back to me that day or the day after was too complicated, it didn't fit with his plans. I had already planned a day before Thanksgiving at out house because we put her and my nephew on the same holiday schedule so they can have those memories together. So, she had two Thanksgivings with me. After all the fun times and getting to know each others families, she herself realized that she got to see her whole family except for her Dad. So, we called him, but he didn't call back. She cried and cried and cried. She is only two and I can't make him be a good parent.

Monkey turns 3 on Wednesday. So Sunday before last I threw her a birthday party.

Last weekend he had her, I don't think she got a birthday party from him. He had said he will give her a gift when he sees her. He says that he doesn't believe in a child having two birthday parties. I know that in his very confused stubborn head that I am preventing him from being involved in her third birthday by not inviting him. In reality, I am doing the very normal thing and living my life with my child in it and not him. I didn't randomly make up a no two birthday rule and stick to it for no apparent reason. 

This is my year for Christmas, but it falls on his weekend. So I've send him a message to see if he would like to have her two weekends in a row, Suddenly, he is interested in what the actual parenting plans says and it says he can't make up holiday time. Although the parenting plan also says he should pick her up and drop her off at my house. We have never done that but he decided we are doing to do the exchange in a parking lot all the sudden. When I asked why I got yelled at a door slammed in my face.

I know your not suppose to hate anyone ever, but I can't do anything else. I can't make him be a better parent and I can't make him respond to me. I can't make him answer the phone when his daughter calls. I can't forgive him for doing this to her. I can't do anything but feel hate and sadness. Soon, some time will pass and I will be able to forgive, I have to believe that, because I don't want to be a miserable person.

Speech Therapy

Monkey started speech therapy this week. There is so much that goes on in my head in regards to her being delayed. I can tell that there is so much going on in her head too. I think her and I and anyone who has to try to communicate with her is just very thankful and relieved that we get help now.
The evaluation was so hard and the lady wasn't exactly awesome. In fact she kinda snickered and laughed at how badly Monkey's articulation is. This of course Monkey picked up on and about half way through the testing process said no, and went and sat in the corner. There were tears and begging and bubbles. I think that lady kinda forgot she was working with a child and had been focusing on her student, who I assume she had never been allowed to have before. She did change her tune and figure out what she had done. She didn't ever apologize to Monkey though, which I think she should have.
Anyways, after the evaluation Monkey started trying to talk more. She is a bit of a perfectionist. She is one of those kids who stood FOREVER and never tried to take a step. Then one day she just stood completely on her own took a dozen steps, and then perfectly sat down again. She didn't even wobble one time. You have to practice talking to get it right though. You can't just start doing it suddenly and perfectly. They don't make walkers for talking. This I think has been part of the problem.
Anyways, she is in therapy now! I was expecting them to send home exercises for me, but I was not expecting her to actually have homework at 2 years old. It made me laugh, it is just a little puzzle and something fun for us to do, but still the idea is kinda silly. Can you imagine talking to a friend at the park and hearing her say "Come on honey lets go home and do your homework" to her two year old. I mean okay Monkey turns three in a week but still, you'd probably be standing their with her mouth open for a moment.
I'll do updates about the speech therapy every week because I think that if your kid is a little behind this information could be helpful for you too.
So this month they are focusing on some particular vocabulary and a big thing with speech is repeition.
So we are singing
5 gingerbread men on a tray
one jumped off and ran away
catch me, oh catch me, catch me if you can
I am pretty fast I am the gingerbread man
of course you repeat this until there are no gingerbread men left.

With this two of the vocabulary words are fast and slow
So I decided to make  game up so she can work on listening to directions which also helps build language skills. It is really easy, you wave your hands fast and then slow. Then she takes a turn giving the directions for mommy to wave her hands.
Other vocabulary words are prepositions such as on, behind, over, and such so we are going to add putting our hands ON our head and BEHIND out back later this week.

I told you that she started trying to use her words more after the evaluation but after one therapy class I can see her talk with confidence, I still can't understand her but she doesn't care she is talking and she is proud.
So maybe I will get to have conversations with her before her imagination wanes and get a glimpse inside the world of childhood, which we've so long ago forgotten about and can only be reminded of through our children.

Wordless Wednesday

My new dogs, the other two were re-homed, when I moved in with my boyfriend this summer.

Living Again

I was really scared to read a book right after the ex left me. While I was with him I developed a love of books that hadn't really been there before. Mostly I just read what he bought, but when he was away for weeks and I was home alone in Mississippi there wasn't much to do. I ended up at the library quite a bit of the time and to be truthful there were not a great selection of books so I mostly read a little bit of everything. After he came back we read mostly what he bought. Then our last Christmas together my dad bought him an E-Reader. When he left me he left the E-Reader. I had been the one to use it because for Christmas I had gotten him a large series of books he was working on.
I knew it was important to do things for me especially right then. It would be healthy for my daughter if I had something (not drinking) to do while she was at her dad's house for the weekend, which I knew would begin eventually. Every night for so many nights in a row I took my E-Reader to bed, and every night I got on the internet an researched something for her benefit, divorced and toddlers, rules for dating with kids, etc.
Finally, one night I read some of one of my books I had downloaded. I read for an hour or so. Then I started to shake, and then I started to cry. I had no idea what was going on with me. Then I thought about it, I hadn't done very many things I had thought I enjoyed before. I was scared to lose myself after having losing so much, what if I didn't really like to read? What did I like to do, who was I if I didn't like the stuff I thought I did? I'd have to start all over, I'd have to try things I thought I wasn't interested in with an open mind. I'd be completely and utterly lost.
Turns out, I do really like to read. I go through spurts and the subject matters are always pretty random. I do not however really love the ever so popular prime time tv shows that I was dragged away from the computer to watch. This was in his mind "our time" and so I should sit down and watch TV with him rather then do my art, or blog or bake. He also thought I shouldn't be able to notice and read into the foreshadowing of books.
I wonder, do you know of a good fantasy book with a good twist that has NO foreshadowing? I always know the end of books and movies and tv shows before they get there. Why do writers do that?

Yesterday was pretty awesome

On Thanksgiving day you sit down with all your family, you call all your friends and through these actions you remember what you have. This year has been rather rough for me and my daughter, yet this Thanksgiving I realized we had become richer in love then we had ever been allowed to be, before. She had a rough time because she realize this too, but her dad wasn't in the picture to share or even be counted as one who loves you and returns the love. I talked to him about at least a phone call and next holiday I suppose we will see where his head is.
I realized something else in the last few weeks. I am a pretty good graphic artist. I have just been looking around and I realized I do have talent and vision and that it was being stifled by my ex. As a graphic artist you don't get paid by the hour, you generally get paid by the project. As you do more projects you develop a library and ability to make the next project go faster. He didn't understand and also thought that he should tell me how to improve my art. So between fighting about rather or not I am wasting my time and fighting about how I am not going to move the circle over 3/4 of an inch it became more hassle then it was worth. Now however I have a person in my life who believes in me and doesn't question. Yes, he worries but I don't think he is literally losing sleep.
Yesterday I dropped my daughter off at her dad's house, quit my job, took a 3 hour nap and then ate someone's delicious home cooked dinner it was a great day all around. I am going back to focusing on the blog. I am also going to be doing more graphic art then ever. I am so excited. I am one of those people who dream about their work. So, I have been dreaming of how to troubleshoot phones and now I'll be dreaming in art again. I've been on this little laptop because we haven't really found/decided on a good place for my computer. We have now and it will be all set-up tonight. I am very excited to be living my dream and to be given support and breathing room to do it on my own. Everyday I am thankful for the life I have now that was born from one of the worst moments of my life.